Life. Update.

It has been a few months since I updated my blog. The reason being I usually turn to blogging when my life is down in the dumps. It gives me emotional succor. My room mate problem got solved. She stopped thieving, she hardly stayed. So I was pretty much at peace. I did not join the gym out of sheer laziness and procrastination.

Just as I got comfortable with my room mate, she left and a new one came in. God. How  I hate adapting to a new room mate every time. This one’s nice except for the fact that she does not let me sleep. Not deliberately though. She sleeps very less and keeps moving  in and out of the room at night. So I had a talk with her and she told me not to worry. But in spite of the assurance, I keep looking for cues to get disturbed. My counselor tells me to reign in my hyper active brain  so to get a sound sleep.

The guy I am dating now today told me that he can’t sleep because of hormonal activity in his body (sex hormones). He was telling me that not to impose on me but to get it out of my mind. I think it was a mistake to date him in the first place. He is surrounded by friends who make jokes about his virginity even at 27 years. I felt so disgusted after the conversation. It is good that I am going away on an assignment for a few days. I so do not want to talk or see him right now. I am working on my prudishness with my counselor. Just as I was getting comfortable, he dropped the bomb. And made me more irritable.

Frankly, I relate to him very less. I started dating him on advice of my counselor, also I was attracted to him. And now it has opened a pandoras box. I won’t give sex who crave it or demand it. You have to put me at ease by showing no sexual interest at all.

In pursuit of happiness

What is happiness?

Nichiren Daishonin writes “There is no true happiness in this world other than chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo”.

Thievery and shit

My room mate steals. Yes she does.

Psoriasis troubles

It’s that time of the year again when the psoriasis spreads like wildfire throughout my body. Skin I can cover with clothes. It is the scalp which gives me trouble and causes embarrassment. The scalp if filled rapidly multiplying dry skin which become small mounds and flakes off like dandruff. I am constantly brushing the flakes off my clothes. People think it is dandruff and I cannot explain to them how much more serious this is. Skin diseases are a taboo.

Decision to get married someday

I am not anti- marriage anymore. It took a few months and a few spinsters to change my mind. I never thought much about marriage. I considered it as loss of freedom and a life of duties and responsibilities. After I came back to Delhi from my rural reporting project in West Bengal, I reconnected with one of my lecturers from university. She is both an awesome person and teacher. She is presently 39 years old and unmarried. Rumor has it she had a failed relationship with a Brit when she was studying in UK. Every time I think about her I wonder how an awesome person like her is still single. The thought depresses me. Though she affirms that she spends her time well and does not feel lonely.

Joining Gym and others

In the counseling session, I discussed with my counselor what I can do to spend time. My counselor never tells me what to do. Instead she lets me soul search. I came up with the following- join a gym, volunteer for a NGO, volunteer for a psoriasis foundation and learn Spanish.

Life Update

Whats happening in my life right now?

I am bored of living in Noida. I want to repatriate to my hometown Kolkata. Only problem is I need to find a job commensurate to the present one. So I am diligently praying to the Gohonzon to either send me on a long project to West Bengal or to get a new job in Kolkata. I have been feeling terribly homesick lately. The first few days after returning from a vacation were the worst.

Of dreams coming true

As a kid I used to spend hours browsing the Oxford Atlas, fantasizing about the places I would like to visit one day. I would hide the Atlas inside a text book and keep looking through the maps of the continents. Once my mother discovered what I was up to and cursed me saying that I will not amount to anything at all. In spite of it, I would continue to dream of travel to faraway lands while neglecting my studies. Today when I look back, every bit of the dreaming and fantasizing has been worth it. I am 26 and have visited 14 countries so far.

I harbor a dream

Today I watched The Reluctant Fundamentalist. The initial plan was to watch Star Trek into Darkness. But owing to the good reviews of the movie coupled with the fact that sci-fi movies are as good on the small screen as they on the big screen I opted for TRF. I was accompanied by my roommate of one month who will soon leave and never be back again.

Paradise visited

Seehotel Sternen, Beckendried, Switzerland. Never have four words brought so much joy. I have been trying to recall the name of the hotel I stayed in Switzerland back in 2011 when I went on a trip to Europe for a really long time. The place (Beckendried) where the hotel was had completely escaped my mind. I kept thinking  I stayed somewhere on the outskirts of Lucerne.