Forgetting

This past week I have been so busy that I had no choice but to neglect my blog. I am going to meet one of my school friends first time in ten years the coming weekend and attend his sister’s wedding. The next to next weekend I will be in Delhi for my convocation. So many social engagement means that I have to finish my work beforehand. My editor wants a story for every issue and as a journalist I can tell you it’s not easy to access people. So that is what I have been doing the whole of this week. Chasing people. So finally its Saturday and I can breathe a little easy (I still have a lot of work pending and might start hyperventilating soon).

Today I want to talk about my wonderful memory or the lack of it. I used to have a robust memory even a year ago. But then it went for a complete toss recently. I have to admit, it actually feels good. Previously I used to remember every damn thing. The story of each book I read, every movie I watched, the people I met was vivid inside my head. I especially remembered things about people- good/bad, nice/mean. Although I felt superior compared to my amnesiac brothers and sisters, I have to admit it was starting to be a burden. Now that I have started forgetting, life seems much more fun. I can now re-watch my favorite movies , re-read my favorite books all over again and realize how little I remember about them. I might sound crazy but it is liberating to rediscover a favorite part of your life be it anything. We had a school reunion and rediscovered all the memories which I had stored in the back burner all these years. Sometimes I wake up from a dream where I am sixteen again and realize that I will cherish those memories forever.

Being forgetful has its disadvantages as well. Nowadays I have to set a reminder on my phone for every meeting, medicines, birthdays etc. But overall I feel free but have to take caution now that I know that I am susceptible to forgetting. Whenever I am travelling in the local train, I never store my luggage in the overhead storage. I sit the entire journey with them on my lap. Fellow passengers often tell me “Put it overhead”, I just smile politely and say no. Its embarrassing actually, sitting with a mound on your lap.

I have calmed down quite a bit over the past three years. Previously the thought of losing was more scary than actually losing stuff. But then I have lost stuff and it didn’t feel so bad. Obviously I felt bad but nothing I cant live without. I am beginning to accept things more now. It brings me peace.